One of my Christmas gifts from my friend Cindy was Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon, a book of poems by Pablo Neruda translated by Stephen Mitchell. Based on my preliminary reading of a few of my favorite Neruda poems in this volume, thumbs up.
Here’s a sample comparison of Mitchell’s translation with a popular translation of the poem, Ode to Ironing. See what you think.
Ode To Ironing
by Pablo Neruda
Poetry is white
it comes dripping out of the water
it gets wrinkled and piles up
We have to stretch out the skin of this planet
We have to iron the sea in its whiteness
The hands go on and on
and so things are made
the hands make the world every day
fire unites with steel
linen, canvas and calico come back
from combat in the laundry
and from the light a dove is born
purity comes back from the soap suds.
(Translated by Jodey Bateman)
Poetry is white:
it comes from the water covered with drops,
it wrinkles and piles up,
the skin of this planet must be stretched,
the sea of its whiteness must be ironed,
and the hands move and move,
the holy surfaces are smoothed out,
and that is how things are made:
hands make the world each day,
fire becomes one with steel,
linen, canvas, and cotton arrive
from the combat of the laundries,
and out of light a dove is born:
chastity returns from the foam.
(Translated by Stephen Mitchell)
“Holy surfaces.” “The skin of this planet must be stretched/the sea of its whiteness must be ironed.” “Chastity returns from the foam.” Yes.
I had to go back and see which version was the one you got as a gift. Before looking at that, I instinctively felt that the sentences the skin of this planet must be stretched, the sea of its whiteness must be ironed were closer to the Spanish. I don’t have the Spanish translation, but somehow that made more sense to me.
Have you read The New Yorker’s or any other review of the new Knopf translation of Tolstoy’s War & Peace? The examples given were wonderful — the differences between this new translation (which minimize the degree of “judgment” or “correction”) and former ones is amazing. Makes me think I might actually attempt to read the novel.
p.s., I meant to say that I don’t have the Spanish original.
I’d need to read the Spanish too, in order to compare. Both poems brought me to the moment, but the first one was even more immediate and active.
Translation, always a loaded issue. It’s never right, it can’t be. So there is never a definitive approach. I appreciate both of you logging in your opinions. There is something about Stephen Mitchell’s language that appeals to me personally.
BTW this Neruda volume does have the original Spanish included.
Ybonesy, I did read the review in the New Yorker, which made me also seriously consider rereading W&P. So many books, so little time.
I just read the Spanish side by side with both versions- Stephen Mitchell’s translation is much more faithful to the original. He understands how Spanish works, and has created a seamless poem. Thanks for sharing this! Now I have another book to add to my to-read pile. 🙂
Beautiful poem. I was glad to see that ybonesy had weighed in on this post. She got me fired up about Neruda last year.
I don’t speak Spanish, but when I look at my favorite lines in each poem and compare, the Mitchell seems much more poetic. I like what C says about how he understands the language and is more seamless in his interpretation.
Full Woman sounds like a great poetry book. And let me also take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New Year. It’s great to write and create in community.
Poetry is white
it comes dripping out of the water
it gets wrinkled and piles up
Poetry is white:
it comes from the water covered with drops,
it wrinkles and piles up,
the hands make the world every day
fire unites with steel
hands make the world each day,
fire becomes one with steel
Thanks for reporting back on this, C.