Do not quit. You see, the most constant state of an artist is uncertainty. You must face confusion, self-questioning, dilemma. Only amateurs are confident . . . be prepared to live with the fear of failure all your life.
–William Ormond Mitchell
The toughest patch of uncertainty in this artist’s life is usually those few days right before a show is set to hang. My studio has become a staging area full of newly minted paintings, my carefully crafted cast of mute players who must perform their work without the benefit of spoken language. It’s a performance that is more vibrational than expressive. And at some point you look around and ask yourself, is this really going to come together? And more directly: What if it doesn’t?
That response is right on cue says my friend Cindy, a consummate theater actor and director. She says it is during those last rehearsals before opening night when she is suddenly struck by the convincingly horrific thought that this will not grow wings and fly out on its own. But then something happens, and it does. Most of the time.
And there’s the rub.
This is a solo show and it will go up on Saturday. (For those of you in the Boston/Cambridge area, show details are posted on Slow Painters.)There’s some key assets that matter a lot, like having a gifted and experienced curator. And the space itself is inviting, a favorite venue for viewing art. But I’m still feeling restless, unsettled, unsure.
Finding the quote up top by Mitchell helped my mood and outlook. It makes it easier to belly up to the bar. ( I found this quote once again at the most reliable source for succinct and deeply resonating wisdom, Whiskey River.)
Celebrating the belly: This beautiful belly, now a memory, belonged to my niece Celeste until last Sunday’s extraordinary performance that produced a winning and utterly beguiling daughter, Gigi. For more photos, check out Celeste’s blog, Babycatcher.
In the immortal words of Maurice Chevalier: “Sank ‘eaven for leetle girls.”
And S, you should know, having one of the world’s most beguiling females as your very own granddaughter. Leetle girls and big ones, I’m going with YES.
Best wishes to you. I’d love to see your canvases in person. I’m sure it will be an ocean of moving color.
I like the decoration of your niece’s pregnant belly. A nice way to honor the birth!
And the quote says it all. The amateur takes no risk, really, so of course she’s calm. A little bit of nerves is a good thing, as your actor friend says. Blogging helps too. You can share the process with others.
Thanks for looking at our site and leaving a comment. It was very helpful.
I would like to share with you words from Divya, ” Pushing to a state of uncomfortable, that is where we grow.”
D, thanks for passing some Divya wisdom my way…
Yes! My email to you was perfectly timed to your show. I’m so excited. And the late stage of pregnancy as a metaphor for “is this going to come together? is this going to be OK?” is perfect, although there is of course the added uncertainty–except in the case of planned c-sections–of When? One of my kids was due around New Year’s and there was not only the snowstorm factor, but a generous OB-GYN who was leaving on vacation and politely asked, “Would you like a c-section before I leave?”
And Slow Muse website says artist reception is on October 17, while your painting website says October 19. Just thought you should know.
Adorable name—Gigi. Great looking belly art, too.
Good luck on the show. I get the sense from reading your blog that you take care to do a good job and that it will be serene yet visually mind-blowing.
GS, thanks for doing my website editing for me!
And Ybonesy, I hope your sense of things is right.